He Ain't Heavy, He's Her BROTHER!

Ella Shortridge is proud to introduce her brother: the mighty Graham Brooks Shortridge, born on Friday October 24th at 5:17pm. Born with a healthy weight of 7lbs 3 oz, 20" in height, he immediately captivated the entire Maternity Ward of the East Cooper Regional Hospital. His mother, the indomitable, Emily Shortridge, brought him into this world hardly breaking a sweat. I am completely amazed at the fortitude of my wife. She is the most amazing woman on the planet.



Most of you may be rather amazed that I survived the entire birthing process without fainting. I am much stronger than I look, but I do ask that the hospital check their ventilation system. It seems my "allergies" got the better of me at one moment and I suffered a mild case of watering eyes. "Strong men also cry Mr. Lebowski!"

Emily and I arrived at ECRM at 6:30am, ready to be induced. I was under the impression that this would be a drive-thru process, but Graham had other plans. Deeming it more fitting for a man of his future stature, he decided to arrive in the early evening. This gave his mother and I adequate time to prepare for his arrival by discussing current events and the eery similarity between discussing politics and belching in public.

Many people have asked us the origin of Graham's name. Contrary to popular belief, we did not name him Graham due to Emily's personal addiction to "Teddy Graham" cookies, or my own love of the music of Gram Parsons of the Flying Burrito Brothers.
Graham is derived from my maternal grandfather's (Larry McPhail) mother's maiden name: Graham.

Personally, I am hoping that if Graham grows up to be at all like his father, my parent's Montreat neighbor, Billy Graham or his son Franklin, will lend some of their theological wisdom and prayers to Graham's parents. They say that children often repay their parents for any gray hairs they brought to their own parents. If this is true, then I expect to be bald by the time Graham turns 16.

Brooks was the middle name of Emily's maternal grandfather: Dr. James Brooks Greenwood Jr. A man of great character and wisdom, we hope Graham will take the hint and head to medical school, thereby giving him the salary needed to buy his parents the beach house they have always dreamed of.

Taking names from both our mother's families, also seemed the perfect way to symbolize the true blending our families. It also ensured that I would continue to stay in the good graces of my mother and mother-in-law no matter how many times I attend the Annual Mistletoe Party in Charlotte, NC. In the Shortridge household, there is NEVER any room for Jell-O!

As I have said in the past, it did not truly matter to me whether we had a boy or a girl. I would have been happy with either. Being Ella's father has been an amazing experience. However, having a son does give me a convenient excuse for having boxes and BOXES of comic books in our house. They are all Graham's. I just got them for him, VERY early.

As you might suspect, my father is also overjoyed that the Shortridge name will now continue on into the next century. When I told him Graham was a boy, you would have thought he had won the lottery. I expect that he will start coaching Graham the finer techniques of basketball before the end of the year.

My daughter Ella is very happy to be a big sister, because as she said this weekend, "Big Sisters are older and get to boss little brothers around".

Please pray for Graham as he has entered a family full of women. I suspect his girl cousins: Sloan (2), Sutton (almost 2) and Sydney (3 weeks) will tease him endlessly and make several attempts to put bows in his hair. May god grant him the speed of a cheetah or at least a very fast dog.

Luckily, Graham has his older cousin Henry to teach him all about the most essential of all boy activities: playing with train sets, fishing, throwing a football, making spitballs and the fine art of bottle rocket wars. I almost feel sorry for the residents of Ocean Isle Beach, NC as Henry and Graham will completely take over that town every summer.

I also expect John "Bubba" Ratterree to teach Graham all about each and every one of John's endless stream of hobbies.

I am also sure he and his cousin Sydney (3 weeks old) will have years of fun in the summertime at Montreat. I suspect that my brother-in-law Greg and I will become fast friends with the local police department, explaining to them that it was not Sydney and Graham's beer at that party, it was those OTHER kids. Graham and Sydney were just trying to talk everyone else out of doing the wrong thing. Hopefully this "explanation" will serve them better than it "served" me during my summers in Montreat.

If you are in the Charleston area, please feel free to come by and visit Graham. Check and money orders are accepted.

FYI, for those that weren't listening that sound at 5:17pm on Friday was the sounding of the Shortridge Family Conch Shell. My thanks to our dear friend, Cameron McCutcheon, for sounding off the horn.

Much Love,

The Shortridge Family